I have always held the thought that if you confront the old habits and beliefs, you can’t help but transform. I don’t think that is the way transformation goes. That’s shortcut thinking.
Here’s my update:
- First step is to understand that something feels off and is not working.
- Second step is to make a choice to explore what’s really going on, not my story of what is going on.
- Third step is to become aware of when I do or say things that make me uncomfortable, righteous, controlling, sad or angry (fill in whatever emotion shows up for you).
- Fourth step is to question the habit or belief – do I need this anymore?
- Fifth step allows me to forgive myself for however I’ve judged myself or others when I was in the habit or belief.
- Finally, the sixth step calls for a different choice. With each awareness and different choice comes transformation.
My view of the world can easily be condensed to short cuts. It’s only in the unpacking of the process and awareness of the steps that I can make a choice to change or not.